Success Stories > How to fail at flirting
By Jacqueline Brasfield
Flirting online is a liberating experience for many people. The anonymity of the web makes us bolder than we might be if we were meeting someone face to face. Gone are the worries about what your hair looks like or if you have spinach in your teeth.
However, it's also hard to tell just how effective you're flirting, since you can't rely of body language, eye contact or other non-verbal signals to gauge the other person's interest. And here's a chilling thought - you could be making a terrible first impression without even knowing it!
Minimise the chance of becoming a flirting failure by avoiding these common mistakes:
By Jacqueline Brasfield
Flirting online is a liberating experience for many people. The anonymity of the web makes us bolder than we might be if we were meeting someone face to face. Gone are the worries about what your hair looks like or if you have spinach in your teeth.
However, it's also hard to tell just how effective you're flirting, since you can't rely of body language, eye contact or other non-verbal signals to gauge the other person's interest. And here's a chilling thought - you could be making a terrible first impression without even knowing it!
Minimise the chance of becoming a flirting failure by avoiding these common mistakes:
 | Giving the wrong impressionKnow your intent before you flirt with someone and tailor your tone accordingly. If you're only interested in starting a friendship, don't lay it on thick. Light banter between friends is fun but make sure you're not suggesting anything deeper. You'll risk giving the wrong impression and unfairly building up the other person's expectations. |
 | Unloading your problemsYou've just met this person - don't turn them into your therapist. If you've had a bad day, wait until you're feeling better to start flirting. Call up a friend to share your tale of woe and come online once your mood has improved. |
 | Smothering with sleazeMost people (thankfully) wouldn't stick their tongue in someone's ear five minutes after meeting them. Sending sexually explicit messages to someone you've just met is the online equivalent. It's tacky, tasteless, and a good way to get a virtual door slammed in your face. |
 | Being cheesy"Hey baby, what's your sign?" works about as well online as it does in a bar. One-liners, cheesy jokes and smarmy compliments will not help you make a good first impression. |
 | Getting heavyIt can be easy to open up to other people over the internet and sometimes inspire an artificial sense of intimacy or closeness. Always wait until you've met someone in person to check the chemistry before you announce your feelings. Calling someone your "soul mate" before you've met them could send them running. |
 | SpammingWhile you may be eager to get to know someone, sending too many messages at once could make the other person feel overwhelmed or pressured. Give them time to respond to your message before you send another one and pace yourself to avoid coming on too strong. |
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