Message board rules

Our Message Board is provided for the enjoyment of the entire FindSomeone community and is moderated by members and, at times, by FindSomeone staff. It's a forum for sharing advice about dating, supporting other members on their journey to 'finding their someone' and connecting with people by discussing a wide range of topics.

A member who posts a message is responsible for its content, not FindSomeone.

Members who breach this policy - or post messages that attract ongoing complaints from the community - may have their message board privileges or FindSomeone membership removed. In essence, don't be a plonker and don't be nasty.


  • Express views on issues, and let others do the same.
  • Respect other members and their privacy.
  • Keep it legal.


  • Use swear words or offensive language if the intention of the post is malicious or offensive.
  • Post or link to offensive or adult content.
  • Abuse or harass people.
  • Make defamatory statements.
  • Post personal contact details or refer to members by their real name.
  • Raise concerns about other members - use our Community Watch feature instead.
  • Be a troll - post a deliberately provocative message intended to cause arguments.

Code of Conduct

  1. Don't abuse or harass others

    Personal attacks are not acceptable. You may express a view on an issue or criticise a particular approach, but the message board is not a place to frame others in a negative light, or attack a person or their character. When discussing a topic, remember to focus on the issue and not the person.

  2. Respect people's privacy

    Don't post any contact details on the message board, including your own, or reveal personal information about others or their actual names. It is OK to link to the published contact details for an established and reputable organisation (e.g., Quitline, Air New Zealand) as long as it isn't advertising.

  3. Hold fire on member concerns

    The message board is not an appropriate place to raise concerns about other members or their actions - this includes references to FindSomeone staff. If you want to report inappropriate or offensive behaviour or content, please use the Community Watch feature. Our customer support team will investigate any complaint.

    If you wish to use the message board to discuss a negative experience, please ensure the individuals involved are not identified.

  4. No trolling

    A troll is a person who publishes deliberately provocative messages on the Internet intended to cause arguments or upset people. Some characteristics of a troll include:

    • posting repeated off-topic content;
    • singling out, either directly or through nuance; and
    • posting contentious topics.

    Posting on the message board to cause trouble, start a contentious topic, derail a discussion or incite an emotional response from others is not allowed and may result in a warning or banning. Excessive over-posting or spamming is also unacceptable.

  5. No self-promoting

    The message board is for open discussion only, so please don't use it to promote a product, service or to denigrate a competitor. This includes encouraging the exchange of contact details. Note that posting a personal ad is not acceptable, but seeking suggestions or advice is fine.

  6. Keep it legal

    In particular, do not name, drop hints, or post any other information which identifies members of the public who have name suppression.

    You also need to be careful you don't post defamatory statements about anyone. A widely used definition is:

    A defamatory statement is one that tends to lower the person in the estimation of right-thinking members of society, or which tends to cause him or her to be shunned or avoided, or which tends to cause a person to be exposed to hatred, contempt or ridicule, or which is a false statement about a person to his or her discredit. The statement may be in the form of words or pictures, visual images, gestures, and other means of signifying meaning.